Fourteen-year-old Christian Davial and his 13-year-old sweetheart Maryling Flores were love-struck eighth graders who couldn't get enough of each other. When Maryling's parents told her she was too young to date Christian, she and her boyfriend defied them. Christitan and Maryling killed themselves in a Romeo and Juliet-type suicide: they werent to the shore and walked into the ocean together to drown. But their devestating pact left their friends, family-and a nation of strangers who mourned for them-with one big question: WHY?

That same question could be heard just a year ago, when teens Annette Sander and Jenifer Powell were found near their high school in Victorville, California, dead of gunshot wounds. The police declared both deaths suicided, but the girls' families still couldn't figure out one thing: WHY?

And in March of 2000, Heidi Chamberlain, 15, and Christopher Mills, 16, leapt 150 feet to their deaths on a rocky shore near Los Angeles. Police found an arrow formed from cigarette buts pointing over the edge of the cliff, which locals have dubbed "the diving board." "It looks like they wanted to be found," said a memeber of the sheriff's department.

The contents of the couple's suicide notes were not made public, but a statement from the Chamberlain family said, "Heidi was known for her love of life. She was free-spirited and knew how to live life to its fullest." Her father said Heidi and Christopher had been dating nly six months and it wasn't a serious relationship. "They are just teenagers," he said. He-like many other victims' relatives-never saw it coming.

Annette's cousin, Jenny Furrer, 19, didn't either. She doesn't recall seeing any of the warning signs that experts say almost always accompany a suicide. "The day before she died, we met at the mall and she said that as soon as she turned 16 (when she'd be able to drive), she was going to take her best friend and me and (Her dog) Emo and go to the beach," Jenny says. "She seemed really excited about that, and it seemed genuine. Annette was a very loving person. Always happy. And she wanted to have fun with everybody."

Teen suicide. Unfortunately, it's not just the stuff of after-school specials. If you read magazines regularly, it's likely you've read articles about it before. And if you watch the news, you've seen real, live cases there too. With all this light focused on teen suicide, you might think-or at least hope-it would stop. No luck. Suicide remains the third leading cause of death among people aged 15 to 24.

TRAGEDY TIMES TWO
Suicide is hard enought to understand when one person decides to take his or her own life. And when two teens decided to bring their lives to a tragic end together, the question fo why is twice as impossible to answer. Experts agree that the basic mtivator for suicidal thoughs is depression-and it's almost always found, regardless of whethere it's one or two people contemplating suicide.

"[Pact suicide] is an attempt to reduce the anxiety about dying, and to avoid the loneliness of being a survivor when somebody close to you kills him or herself," says Richard Reinhart, PH.D., child and adolescent psychologish in Ventura, Calfiornia.

Suicide pacts among teens tend to involve a boy and a girl, or two girls. "When boys get really depressed, they tend to withdraw, whereas girls tend to attach," says Glenn Miller, M.D. "Rarely does a boy say to a male friend, 'I've been thinking about suicide,' and then have the male friend say, 'Yea....I've been thinking about it, too. Girls will not just analyze, but delve into it. They want to know the emotional side of their friends."

Very few two-girl friendshps lead to suicide pacts; the deadly realtionships are usually found when a friendship is not entirely based on reality. First, the friendship may form very quickly and become intense almost overnight-as with Annette and Jenifer. Often there's one totally together girl paired with an emotional, depressed one. In this lopsided friendship, the "together" girl becomes a caretakeer. She's not being supported. Her obsession with helping to solve her friend's crises hides her own depression-often so well that even she's depressed inside.

Usually they have a secret that they are committed to keeping. In Annette and Jenifer's case, it was "Project Mushroom," the pet name they had for their suicide pact. The secret, though, can be anything that makes them feel separeate from others. They become dependent on each other, thinking that no one else in the world-aside from their new best friend-could possily understand their pain. When the idea of suicide comes up, the idea of separating-of being left alone-is too overwhelming. The "together" girl may not want to commit suicide, but she doesn't want to be left behind, either.

"Over time, the dominant person sort of convinces the other one that this would be a momentous way to go out. A big splash. 'Everybody will know us!'," says Michael Peck, clinical psychologish in Los Angeles.

But each suicide pact is different. If you could nail it down to a formula, it would be simply to figure out-and easy to put a stop to.

HELP ON THE LINE
Debbie is a 17-year-old student at Beverly Hills High School who volunteers answering calls for TEEN LINE< a help line run by young people for young people. She's familiar with suicide pacts; she handled a call from two girl teens who were set on one-and she talked them out of it.

The first girl told Debbie she was physically abused at home, and that the only way out she could see was suicide.

The second girl said she didn't have many other friends. When her friend said she wanted to commit suicdie, the second girl was hurt; she couldn't believe her life was so unfulfilled that she'd want it to end it. But, Debbie says, "Since she didn't think she could stop her, she thought, 'I'll join her.' She couldn't imagine her life without her."

Since the second girl appeared to be stronger, Debbie spoke with her. "I asked her, 'How would you feel if your friend committed suicide?' She said she'd feel awful. Then I asked, "how would your parents feel if you committed sucide?'" Debbie's words and careful questions made the difference. The second girl frealized that she might be able to convince her friend to see a counselor-and Debbie assured them it would be confidential. Not even their parents would have to know. When the second girl realized that she could do something to help her friend, she felt needed. "Suddenly she didn't feel completely helpless or hopeless," Debbie says.

After the hour-and-a-half phone call, Debbie says she felt drained. Both callers were in a lot of pain, and this was the first time they'd talked about it to anyone but each other. Debbie made the two girls promise her that if either was ever thinking about suicide again that they would either call a suicide prevention hotline or TEEN LINE again.

TALKING SOMEONE DOWN FROM THE LEDGE
Often, just talking with someone helps suicidal people eas their depression. If you're ever in this situation, it's good to ask if the person has formulated a plan for suicide, Debbie says. "If they do have a plan, then we make them promise: Please promise me that you're not going to kill yourself tonight." Being asked to make such a promise lets callers know they're not alone; they don't havve to have these feelings by themselves. Sometimes just getting through that evening, and then the next day, can give the suicidal impulse time to pass.

THE AFTERMATH: COPYCATTING
One of the tragic side effects of suicide is copycatting. It happens when people who knew of the suicide victim are distraught over the death; suddenly they see suicide as an option to deal with the depression. It may be a matter of a ssomeone thinking, "Wow, she had everything going for her; I'm nothing compared to her. If she couldn't make it, how am I ever going to?"

After the suicides of Annette and Jenifer, the town of Victorville had to contend with another suicide-that of 17-year-old Julie Banks, who shot herself. And nearly 20 more teens had made suicide attempts since then. After any suicide-solo or pact-a school will make couseling available. Small discussion groups might also be held to help teachers and faculty members recognize potentially suicidal students, and to help students deal with their pain.

If you know someone who you suspect might be thinking about suicide:
*Listen, rather than offer advice
*Take all talk of suicide seriously. It's a myth that people who talk about it won't do it.
*Don't be afraid to ask directly: "Have you been thinking about suicide?" If the person says yes, ask if he or she has a plan. If a plan has been made, get help immediately.
*Don't promise to keep a friends secret about suicide plans. Aks yourself if you'd rather have your friend dead, or just very angry. The choice becomes easy.
*Telephone books have listeings under Crisis Intervention, Suicide, Mental Health, etc. Or call your local hospital; they can refer you to a hotline.
*TEEN LINE operates every night from 6 pm. to 10 p.m., Pacific Standard Time. In California, call: 800-TLC-TEEN. Other states, call: 310-855-4673. Somebody will immediately call you back so there won't be a big charge.
Write: The American Association of Suicidology, 4201 Connecticut Ave., NW, Suite 301, Washington, D.C. 20028
*Recognize that if someone is intent on killing themself, there may not be anything you can do to prevent it. You can try to get help, but you can't beat yourself up if you can't "save" them.

WARNING SIGNS
Too often, parents and friends of suicide victims say they had no clue that their child or friend was so depressed, let alone suicidal. But warning signs-even subtle ones-are usually present. True, there are suicides that seem to occur out of the blue, with no warning at all, but these are exceptions. The more people can be given the help they need.

Look for these tell-tale signs:
**Change in eating or sleeping habits
**Withdrawal from friends, family or regular activity
**Violent actions or behavior
**Drug and alochol use
**Neglect of usualy personal appearance
**Personality change
**Persistent boredom
**Difficulty concentrating
**Decline in quality of schoolwork
**Complaints of physical symptoms, frequently ones they've never complained of before. Headaches and stomachaches are common complaints
*Not tolerating words of praise
**Loss of interest in pleasureable activities
**Starting to get personal belongings in order, or giving things away.

SOURCE: The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry

THE END-REALLY
"ours is society that wants instant solutions," says Elaine Leader, co-founder of TEEN LINE. "If teens don't take their time to solve a problem, they start to feel hopeless about solving [it]. That's when suicide becomes an option."

And what problem could be more important than one that causes you to consider ending your life? That's about as big as it gets.

Life can be totally unfair-even brutal at times. And, yes, depression gets unbearable. But there's one bright spot in all of this: When you live life, change is guaranteed. Nothing ever stays the same for long.

Death, however, is permanent-and it's anything but romantic. For some reason, lots of teens think that committing suicide is different than dying, like they won't end up dead if they commit suicide. So just to cear up any misconceptions, here it is: You commit suicide, you're dead. PERIOD. On the other hand, you could live life, change, watch your depression fade-and move on.

One final question: What kind of "friend" would ever ask her best friend to hurt herself-or even commit suicide? Not a good one....that's for sure. True friends help each other heal. Killing oneself is not the way to end pain; if anything, it's just the beginning-for the people who live on.