MARRIAGE
"at first I couldn't believe I was pregnant. My periods were never regular....I finally went to the doctor when I was four months along. I was embarrassed and shocked. I loved my boyfriend and I thought my parents wouldn't be as mad if we got married. There were still upset, but they said they would support my decision. We got married by a justice of peace. The only people there were my parents and my boyfriend's mom. It sure wan't the kind of wedding I had dreamed about. Now, I'm someone's wife and someone's mother."
--Anne, age 18

Marriage is an option that hopefully will provide you with a husband who will help you support your child. Unfortunately, the odds aren't on your side. More than 60 percent of teenage couples divorce within five years--and if pregnancy is the reason behing the marriage, the divorce rate increases to 90 percent within six years. Look at it this way: By deciding to have the baby, you've mad a full-time commitment to a child for the next 18 years; by deciding to get married on top of it, you've made another commitment--and this one is "for as long as you both shall live." Marriage shouldn't be a snap decision. If you would cnsider marriage, start off by asking yourself these questions:

**Are you and the father of your baby committed to the thought of living together for the rest of your lives?
**Are you and the father of your baby willing to go to pre-marital counseling?
**What will your relationship be like when you can no longer go out on dates, but have to stay home to take care of the baby?
**HOw will the two of you finish your educations?
**How will the family be supported? Who will watch the baby while you work or take classes?
**HOw much family support do you have?
**How well do you relate to kids? How well does he?

"It's not easy. We've had a lot of problems, but we've also had a lot of support. Both of our parents and a lot of people at our church support us. We both talk to our paster once in a while. He helps us put things back into perspective."
--Anne


SINGLE PARENTHOOD
"Somehow I never thought I could get pregnant. I mean, I was having sex, sure, but most of the time we used condoms or something. It was, like, one time we forgot, and I got pregnant. And all the wishing in the world wasn't going to change things. The father doesn't want anything to do with a baby. He won't even return my phone calls. I don't believe in abortion. But I think I can be a good mom."
--Heather, age 15

Signle parenthood is tought. You've got someone to take care of--someoone who crieds a lot, may wake up at 2 a.m., and then again at 4--and the bulk of the responsibility is on your shoulders. Diapers, food, toys, clothes, medicine, baby-sitters...all the expenses can add up. Hopefully females who take this rout will have supportive family members who will be willing to help out, but remember: Your parents raised YOU. Their caring-for-a-baby days are over. This baby will be yours, and relying on your family to raise another child (financially or emotionally) just isn't fair. Here are some points to consider:
**Only 50 percent of teenage mothers finish high school (10 percent of mothers under age 16 finish). Teenage mothers are more likely to have low-paying jobs or be unemployed. If you were to decide to become a single mom-and you're mature enough to handle all the work and sacrifices-mother hood can be rewarding. But you would need to do a little research and a lot of thinking before you could get to that point. Here are some questions to ask yourself:
~~How can you stay in school? What kind of job can you get?
~~How will you get medicial care for the baby?
~~How will you afford food, clothes and rent?
~~Will you still be able to pursue your own goals if you're a single parent?
~~Do you have family and friends who are willing to help you?
~~What will you do if your baby has special needs, like mental retardation or birth defects?

"Becoming a parent, raising a child, isn't easy. You have to know what you're getting into. I never see my friends anymore. I work all day, then I go to nigh school. It's hard, and I miss my old life, but I do love my baby. He brings the joy back when all I want to do is cry. If I had to do it over again, I'd never have gotten pregnant. But I could never give up my child now."
--Lizzy, age 17, mother of a six-month-old son

ABORTION
"I didn't want to be pregnant. I couldn't even think straight when I found out I was pregnant. My boyfriend gave me some money for an abortion. It seemed like the thing to do. My friend too me down-town to a clinic. It was over pretty fast. I still think about the baby, though. Sometimes I have nightmares."
--Jennifer, age 15

Aboutrion, though legal, is surrounded by controversy. In many states, abortions are difficult to obtain. Lost of doctors won't evne perform abortions due to the current political climate. Some states have restrictions, like waiting 24 hours after the inital consultation, or even getting parental consent. One of the biggest misconceptions about abortions is that it's an easy way out. WRONG! Nothing about being a pregnant teen is easy--especially making the decision to terminate a pregnancy. Afterwards, many patients experience guilt, depression and shame. It's importnant that girls who choose this option have someone supportive and trustworthy they can talk with following and abortion.

"I told myself it never happened. No one knew what I had done. I went back to my school and back to my church. But I go so depressed. I couldn't get out of bed in the morning and I cried all the time. My mom took me to see a counselor. She helped me work through all the pain I was feeling. The couselor helped me to tell my parents. Finally, I learned how to forgive myself."
--Jessica, age 19

If you feel you might consider an abortion, you should start by asking yourself some bacic questions:
**Why do you feel abortion is the best solution?
**Have you talked about your decision with your boyfriend? Your parents?
**Do you have someone who will support you emotionally?
**Is abortion againt your beliefs?
**Do you have money?
**Do you know of a reputable clinic or doctor?
**Are you considering abortion because you want to avoid thinking about the pregnancy?
**Can you live with this decision?

ADOPTION
"At first I didn't want to think about adoption, I didn't want to think about giving my baby to someone else. But I didn't believe in abortion, and I knoew I couldn't raise thie baby myself. I did some research and I talked to some people about it. I realized that I could actually choose the couple who would raise my baby. And I could end letters to my baby if I wanted. It was the best choice for me. It was hard, but I know my baby has a good home."
--Laurie, age 17

Many different types of adoption arrangements exist. At some agencies, you are provided with financial support during the pregnancy--and some adoptive parents will pay for the expenses of the pegnancy and delivery.
Some adoptions are closed, which means the birth mother and the adoptive paretns have no contact and all the details are taken care of by an agency. But in adoptions today, the birth mother can deccide what type she wants, including:
**selecting the adoptive family from pictures and letters
**meeting the adoptive family.
**spending time with the child after birth
**recieving pictures and reports of the child.

"I was so nervous before I met my child's adopitive parents. But they were wonderful. We have a lot in common. I asked them to come into the delivery room with me, and they were very supportive. It was hard, saying good-bye to my son, but I know he has a great home. they are going to send me photos, at least for awhile. I wrote him a letter that he can read when he gets older. I don't want to visit him; I think that would be too hard. But I know that when he's older, if he ever wants to meet me or if I want to see him, we can do that."
--Jenny, age 19

Before a person decides on adoption, there are some basic questions to start with:
**Have you looked into different types of adoption agencies?
**Can you face the possibility of having to tell the child one day why you placed him or her up for adoption?
**Do you have someone to talk over this decision with (parents, couselors)?
**Is the birth father willing to give up his rights to the child?
**Would you want to be involved with the adoption plan (meeting the parents, receiving pohots)?

By reading the accounts of these girls and asking yourself some of the tough questions you would be faced with if you were pregnant, you realize that there are no simple answers for femalse who are faced with unplanned pregnancies. the best way to avoice their dilemmas? DON'T put yourelf at risk of becoming pregnant. But if you do end up pregnant, carefully think through your options. Seek advice from people you trust. choose the option that's best for you, and know that you will be faced with lots of challenges regardless of which decision you make.